Hey everyone... Its been a long day. Woke up at 9 plus this morning... Dunno why. Went to highlight my hair. Its quite striking now. The 'full-dress' rehearsal was alright... The drumset was weird. Couldn't play the way I wanted too...

Anyway, I'm not feeling in the best of moods right now. I rushed down to prayer meeting in a cab after the rehearsal. After prayer meeting, I thought we could all go for supper together. She was there too... Then, all of a sudden, 'the guy' pulled up in his car and she said, "I've gotta go..." I was shocked... After all this time, she's still putting herself in those kind of situations? I dunno... Is it because I still have feelings for her? Is what she's doing right? Sometimes I really feel like screaming in her ear, or shaking her to wake her up. I've been trying to find reasons to justify her actions for her. But I've run out of them... Why is she doing this? Why did she say one thing and do another? She's not fulfilling the conditions that I talked about yesterday. I'm very close to giving up on her. maybe thats what I should do... Maybe I shouldn't care about her anymore. I mean seriously speaking... she obviously doesn't care about me. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE SO SOON AFTER YOU BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE??? HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT YOU WANT TO TAKE TIME OFF FROM RELATIONSHIPS AND STILL GO OUT WITH OTHER GUYS??? Is it just me? Am I too sensitive?

I'm sorry to say this, but I think that she has REALLY changed... I really don't recognise her anymore. She's so different. Maybe I was wrong... Maybe she's not the one I'm supposed to spend my life with... Maybe I heard wrongly from God.

Dear God, why is this happening? Am I not putting you first? What am I doing wrong? Why am I still getting hurt? Please tell me what I need to do? You know I only have you left. If you fail me, I dunno what I'll do... Without You I'm NOTHING...

::: Lyric of the Day :::
as I recall when my stomach turned
and I was hiding away from myself
away from you
like nothing but something was terribly wrong
and I admit that I was only waiting for the right time
right moment for you to look away
though you never did I pretended for a while
so I could walk where I don't belong

I remember every word you said
come back in time come back
and I remember I was too beaten
pitiful so pitiful